By Hal Stone, Ph.D., and Sidra Stone, Ph.D.. Reproduced with permission.
Hal and Sidra Stone: their work and the complete article library · Further Reading
Hal Stone, Ph.D. & Sidra Stone, Ph.D.
Did you ever wonder why you felt alone evenwhen you were with somebody else? Haveyou had the experience - in the middle of aconversation - of suddenly feeling as though theother person wasn’t listening to you even though,when you challenged him, he could repeat backto you exactly what you had just said? Haveyou ever thought that your partner was moreattached to the computer than to you?
All these are examples of what we call aloss of energetic connection - a loss of linkage.Our relationships have mental, emotional, andspiritual components - but they also have anenergetic component - and it is this energeticcomponent that we are now addressing.There are many ways to communicateor connect with others. We usually think ofcommunication as verbal; we talk to each other.Another way of communicating is through our“body language”; we signal each other withrecognizable signs of interest - like affection,caring, or sexuality - or conversely, we signal withrecognizable signs of our lack of interest - likeboredom, irritation, anger.
Many people are sensitive to this kind ofcommunication. For instance, they know thatwhen we “can’t look them in the eyes”, we areprobably not telling the truth, or when we crossthemeven if we don’t say anything, or when our handsare cold, we’re feeling anxious even tough we arespeaking confidently. Each of us has our own setof signals that can be read by others. And theothers - particularly our significant others - areoften happy to tell us just what our particularsignals are.
But energetic connection is somethingdifferent. It is subtle. Each of us has a bodyenergy field that extends beyond our physicalbody - a set of vibrating energies that is finerthan those that make up our bodies. This hasalways been known by people involved inenergetic healing and by many indigenouspeoples, but now it is being measured andphotographed in the laboratories.
Most of us don’t know about these fields.But they exist, they play an important part inour relationships, and they affect our feelingsof wellbeing. When we don’t know about them,we control them automatically. For instance,when we are out in a crowd, we
Our energetic availability often does notmatch our verbal communication. We can saywe’re listening, and we may hear the words, butwe are not truly present in an energetic sense.As for body language, you can’t always point toa clearly observable specific physical change thatcorrelates with a change in energetic connection.
Some people know how to smile and maintaingood eye contact while - at the same time - theywithdraw their energies completely. Conversely,we say (or even believe) that we are not trying tointrude but energetically we are actually movingour energies into the other person’s field.
This is a new way of looking at connectionsand communication that we find particularlyfascinating. Once you know the reality of theseinvisible, subtle energetic connections, you haveavailable an entirely new kind of informationabout relationships and - most particularly - yourfeelings of connection or intimacy.
© December, 2002
Original source and copyright: Hal Stone, Ph.D., and Sidra Stone, Ph.D.. Read the original at Voice Dialogue International.